You may have noticed a (further) lack of posts here. If you're a regular reader of my other blog then you'll be aware that I have been parasitised. Yep, Husband and I figured out this breeding lark and will soon be throwing our genetic contribution into the populous
As if battling constant fatigue and nausea wasn't time-consuming enough, we've also decided to move house again. Call me old fashioned, but an ex-grow house doesn't seem the ideal setting for a nursery. We're a bit fed up with being evicted, so this time we are looking to buy. Now this comes with a whole new plethora of issues to contend with. If you thought landlords were unscrupulous, then just wait till you have to deal with estate agents. It doesn't take long to realise you can't trust anything they say. Whether that's through deliberate lies, or an innocent lack of knowledge is unclear. I'm incredulous how an industry can survive when it seems to be full of incompetent oiks. Maybe the sheer weight of their ineptitude's drags a furrow of success in their wake.
In order to help others survive the tribulations of house-hunting, I've written a handy guide to interpreting estate agents' common phrases:
They say They mean
"Some updating required" "There's no bathroom"
"Fully air-conditioned" "Missing windows"
"Plenty of natural light" "There's a massive hole in the roof"
"In a popular location" "Anti-social behaviour orders are rife"
"Mature gardens" "Untamed jungle. May contain lions"
"Lots of potential" "It's currently an inhospitable dive"
"Priced to sell" "Severe structural problems"
"Good investment property" "Rent it out; you won't want to live there"
I'm sure we will find the house, and it will be worth the stress and waiting. Whether this happens before Little Parasite is born is another thing. Currently, we're in a state of limbo as we're reluctant to completely unpack in this house as we may be moving soon. Being a grown-up sucks.
