Now my return to work has been confirmed Little Parasite has started some 'settling in' sessions at his nursery. These consist of LP spending an hour or so in the nursery without me to get him used to it gradually. Not that this will be an issue. LP is quite an independent little soul and is nonplussed when I'm not around anyway. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure he likes me that much.
I stayed with him for the whole of his first session and initially he was a bit cautious whilst he took it all in. Soon he was charging about like a shoe fetishist with OCD, collectig the other children's shoes (some were still being worn in a couple of unfortunate cases) and claiming them for his own. He has a peculiar penchant for footwear; eating them in particular.
The second session I left him with the nursery staff whilst I filled out paperwork. This was fairly routine if laborious (i.e. writing out emergency contacts in triplicate; noting any dietary requirements etc.). One section was a tad concerning however. It asked if the staff had my consent to call an ambulance if required, before seeking my permission to do so. No, I'd rather you let him bleed out first. Apparently in the past the nursery had received a complaint from a parent for seeking emergency medical help before informing them. What's more alarming than the fact there are actually people who think like this, is that there are people who think like this and they know how to breed.
What this consent section infers is, despite me saying 'yes, phone an ambulance if required' is that the staff will still need to check LP's file for the consent status before calling 999. We are drowning in pointless, paranoid bureaucratic crap(ha! I wrote carp at first. I wonder where a bureaucratic carp keeps its pen?)
When I collected LP after completing the paperwork, he proceeded to bawl into tears when I picked him up. Apparently a sandpit can sufficiently substitute my company (I hope work doesn't get wind of this or I'm out of a job).
Whilst I know my role as mum means I need to equip LP with the life skills to be a confident, independent adult, there is still a small part of me that is glad when he is upset by my absence. At least I think so. Having no experience of this thus far I presume it's at least a little satisfying knowing your child is emotionally attached to you.
I was speaking to one of the nursery staff after LP's last settling session, and said how strange it would be to have whole days where I didn't know what he was up after spending 9 months with him pretty much 24/7. She said they do have 'My Day' diaries they give the parents, so they get an update on their child's day. It is a nice touch, but if I'd wanted sporadic updates I would have sponsored a gorilla at the local zoo. At least I wouldn't have nappies to change.
LP is coping well with his settling in sessions so far and I'm sure he will be fine for full sessions when I return to work. For my part I'm focusing on the practical side of things for now. I will deal with the inevitable guilt and worry when it can no longer be ignored.
What crazy admin protocols have you encountered?
What coping mechanisms do you use when a difficult situation is approaching?
