Cycling proficiency

I have ridden to work a few times in the last couple of weeks but still didn't really feel like a proper cyclist. Wednesday, however, saw me earning my cycling commuter stripes.

This Wednesday, feeling a bit cocky after almost halving the time it takes me to get to work in a couple of weeks, I pushed my bike out of the underground car park at work and swung my leg over the bike like a pro. Unfortunately, I'm not a pro, and I continued the sideways momentum to the floor and managed to graze both knees causing one knee (my bad one, typically) to swell horribly, graze my palm, pull my trapezius and bruise my arse. All this from toppling off a stationary bike. It was not one of my prouder moments.

I'm not really sure how I managed to cause such damage from a minor topple, but I have analysed the black-box of my memory and I think I have established how I probably made things worse. Below follows my thought process during the split-second event:

Me: "Am cyclist; see me gracefully champion the mounting of a bike."

Swings leg over bike, and begins to lose balance.

Me: "Ah. I did not foresee this. Do I recall seeing anyone else about? No. Good. Gosh, the hard-looking concrete ground appears to be meeting me at haste."

Puts hand out to avoid meeting ground with face. Grazes palm and one knee and bounces bottom off ground (which turns out not to be as padded as once thought).

Me: "Ah. That somewhat stings. Oh. This is a new bike!"

Attempts to throw self under the bike to break the bike's fall. Fails miserably, but manages to entangle other leg in the bike resulting in a horrible impact to knee, which immediately registers its indignation at being used as cannon fodder by swelling impressively.

Me: "I don't want to commute anymore."

Crawl pathetically away from bike like a drunk raccoon. Stand bike up and tentatively attempt to remount bike. Survives this technical manoeuvre and slowly rides away, leaving my pride and bits of skin in tatters.

On arriving home, I instantly demanded sympathy from Husband, who was sensible enough not to mock me at this point. I then spent the evening wondering if I'd chipped my patella as I couldn't bend my knee (turns out it isn't chipped, I'm just a wuss).
I still went to dog club that night, but Husband drove. Tangent seemed to be overly fond of banging into my knees during the session, leaving me wondering if he hadn't quite forgot the time when I accidentally poked him in the eye with my toe.

Taken after getting home from fall

Taken three days after what has become known

as 'the incident'

 This hasn't put me off riding to work, but I sure have a lot more respect for skilled cyclists. And concrete floors, definitely more respect for concrete floors.