However, this is a contextual fear, since I don't mind spiders if I know where they are. I can happily live with them for weeks if they stay visible in a corner of a room (this probably says more about my dusting skills). But if they appear unexpectedly (such as in my coat pocket, or emerging from a box of cereal), I react like a huge sissy girl complete with flapping hands, stamping feet and calls along the line of 'Eeeeeeeee!!!!!!'
I know exactly when this fear of arachnid ninja skills began. I was 14, and had just stepped out of the shower. I grabbed my towel from the rail and a massive spider fell out of the fabric folds onto my foot. I emitted a shrill death-shriek of a scream, which immediately summoned my mum who must have thought I'd slipped and cracked my head open on the sink.
The combination of unexpected spider coupled with the vulnerability of being naked fixed the experience firmly in my psyche. So, although a bit wussy, at least it makes sense!
A spider, should anyone need to know what one looks like.
I do, however, have a fear that I would even go so far as to say is a border-line phobia. Maggots. Even typing the words has made my mouth dry. I have no idea where this stems from. Although I do recall several memories quite vividly...
I can remember catching the bust to school once, and there was a dead cat - probably hit by a car - lying broken in the bushes. Several days later, I noticed the carcass had become a writhing ripple of tiny, white waves. It had become the birthplace of the next generation of flies. That was it; for the next 6 months I walked half a mile to a different bus stop.
A further encounter with maggots was shortly after I moved to Bristol. I was emptying the food waste bin into another recycling point in our garden, when I thought I saw some old rice move. It didn't take long to realise that the rice were actually maggots. Once I had recovered from my petrified state, and could use my legs again, I swiftly retreated to the other end of the garden, knocking the bin over as I went. Husband came out to see why I had scurried away like a disturbed cockroach, and noticing the abandoned bin, realised what had happened.
I refused to go back in through the door as some of the maggots had spilled out across the floor by the door, so Husband went back indoors and opened the kitchen window. I climbed through and crawled over the sink, dropping head first onto the floor. Husband then made me a cup of hot, sweet tea (normally I can't stand sweet tea!) as I had gone completely pale and faint. Actually, thinking about it, I'm starting to think this could be a proper phobia.
A maggot. Well, I tried to draw one, but I
couldn't bring myself to do it.
I always understood the nature of fear to be purely functional. Fearing potentially poisonous spiders etc. makes logical sense from an evolutionary standpoint, but a phobia seems to be a survival instinct gone wrong. Maggots are not dangerous, they are not poisonous. In fact, they are full of protein and probably a healthy snack. Empirically I understand this, but I still freak out disproportionately when I encounter them.
Does anyone else have any fears that don't make rational sense they would like to share?
