Marriage

Marriage is more a state of mind than a legal status. Husband and I were together for 7 years before we got married, so married life didn't make a huge difference to our relationship. Apart from the financial black-hole that follows a price tag with anything bridal, and leaving me slightly confused in doctor's waiting rooms when addressed by my new surname.

If you're not sure whether you can classify yourself as married (whether you own a marriage certificate or not) check out the guide below.

1. Your sexy lingerie and comfy pants are now the same thing

2. Your dates have become a trip to the big Tesco Extra with the cafe and big clothing and electronics departments
3. Farting in front of each other is no longer embarrassing, but has become a competitive sport
4. Making an effort with your appearance now just involves an extra spray of deodorant, and locating your cleanest jeans with the least holes
5. You no longer finish each others' sentences. Instead, you blatantly talk over one another

6. You're no longer asked how your day is; the bath is already run and the wine poured because they know without asking