A lesson in trigonometry

After a year of living in our current house, Husband and I decided to swap a couple of the rooms around. We had all our gym and exercise equipment in the upstairs spare room, and the office with the desktop in what was probably intended to be used as a dining room (we've never had a dining room that we've actually used for dining. Probably because we've never owned a dining table or chairs. We've spent almost ten years eating meals off our laps like perpetual students. Or squatters).

Last weekend was designated our 'do nothing' weekend (i.e. we just potter about, do hobbies and ignore the bacteria-ridden dishes teetering dangerously on the kitchen side), so, logically, I decided to start switching the rooms about. The first thing Husband knew about this, the computer had been disconnected and my beloved computer desk had been dismantled ready to shift upstairs. Moving the computer and it's desk upstairs was the easy part.

In the gym room, we have a 30kg workout station that was constructed in the room it presently occupied. I looked at the handlebars, then the width of the door and suggested we dismantle the top half. By this point, Husband had dragged it toward the door saying that we could manoeuvre it out. I looked at the handlebars, then the door again. I repeated that maybe we should dismantle it. Husband was now tilting the station and trying to drag it diagonally through the door. Foreseeing that we would reach a point where we would have to dismantle it anyway, I sighed and took the other end of the station to help Husband take a few more chunks out of the walls.

We spent the next fifteen minutes rocking the station in a hopeless attempt to convince it to bend around the door frame. Husband was giving directions to help co-ordinate our efforts. This would probably have expedited things beautifully if he had given the directions and then waited for me to move, rather than move the station whilst giving directions. After having my toes crushed, ribs bruised and fingers jammed in the door, we somehow managed to get it out of the room and into the hallway. Looking at the handlebars and our spiralling stairs, I once again suggested we dismantle it. Husband was resolved that it was unnecessary.

 We tried a variety of approaches in getting it down the stairs, and after a while of us supporting the station's weight in between decisions, I was beginning to vote that we just throw it over the banister and go from there. We compromised and let it slide down the first flight of stairs like a pair of deformed, demented skis.

Luckily, we live in a bit of an odd house with the bathroom situated in between flights of stairs, so I managed to pull the station part-way in the bathroom so Husband could slide through and attempt to negotiate it down the last set of stairs. Unfortunately, we couldn't get the station to go down the stairs as the top set of steps was blocking the handle bars. At this point, Husband was supporting the vast majority of the station's weight. I waited. Husband then suggested we remove the handle bars.

Returning with tools, and leaving Husband to hold the entire station as it overhung the steps, I set to the task of unscrewing the handlebars. This was proving difficult as somehow during the move the station had ended up upside down. I slowly fiddled about trying to secure one end of the first screw with a monkey wrench, whilst turning the screw thread-by-thread with a screwdriver. Being the meticulous person I am, I continued with my sedate approach DIY on the second screw, despite Husband starting to flag a little under the weight of the station. Eventually, with an exasperated (and slightly pained) vociferation of "You don't need to unscrew every bloody thread!" Husband brought his foot up and booted the handlebar to knock out the loose screws.
 
Now that the handlebars were no longer a limiting factor, the rest of the move went very smoothly with minimal wall damage. The workout station now sits quite happily in the downstairs room. I think moving it was probably the most intense work out either of us have had from it. At present, the handlebars remain separated from the station just in case it needs to be moved again.